Go to Hell. Unless you're Lars Ulrich. If you're him, go to my bed.

Toan

2004-09-27T00:13:17Z

Merry Meet!

Okay, I so have to piss. Really. But I'm too lazy to get up to go to the bathroom right now. I'll wait until I'm about to burst. Okay.

I just finished making the most FUCKING AWESOME mousetrap car in the entire motherfucking world. It rules all other mousetrap cars. I have like... CDs for real wheels, model airplane wheels for front wheels, metal axels, the mousetrap, a soon to be extended killbar, and it's gonna RULE. I AM GOD!!!!

There's this guy I know. His name is Toan. He fucking blows. I fucking hate him. All he does all day long is sit around and say stupid shit. All day long.
No actually, I thought I would just say that because he wants to be in my livejournal.
Actually, Toan is neato. But he's a big dork. And I'm God and I hate dorks so one day I will kick his ass and he will be cool. And not dorky. DORK!!!!

MY CAR RULES ALL OTHER CARS! EAT MY DUST ALISHA AND BECCA AND ANNA AND MELINA AND DR. BRITTON AND DR. BENNETT AND MS. BROWN-MITCHELL!!!! YOU WILL NEVER RULE YOUR CARS LIKE I RULE MINE! Bwahahahahahahhahahahaha.

Oh yeah, TOAN AGREES WITH ME ABOUT BECCA! Shit yes. He does. He agrees. PEOPLE AGREE WITH ME. I'm so fucking sick of people sticking up for her. So fucking sick. I should throw up on them. :-D I should. And I will. As soon as I find something to induce vomiting.

Well, I have calculus and stuff to do. I hope you like the entry with your name in it, Toan. I hope you love it. Love it hard, brotha.

TGSAN Retreats should be held every weekend!

2004-09-13T01:50:14Z

Merry Meet!

This weekend has probably been the best weekend in my entire life. And I am totally not kidding. At all.

I went to Lake Gaston on a retreat with a group called TGSAN (Triangle Gay Straight Alliance Network) to plan the events for the year. We had to rewrite our TGSAN mission statement and everything, and it took a CRAPLOAD of work. Well, for this retreat, I had to meet a bunch of new people. Well, Shay does HORRIBLE with meeting people. I'm very shy and scared to talk to people I don't know. It was very very hard. But...

I met someone I think could possibly become my new best friend. His name is Reese and he is absolutely amazing. I have never known someone I could have a conversation with for 7 hours without getting bored one bit. I want to cry so horribly because like, I have never felt so welcome somewhere before. I felt so comfortable being myself there, and even at S&M where people are accepting, I feel really uncomfortable sometimes. I am crying now. Really crying. Even here, I sometimes sit around and feel hurt when my friends won't even support me with Spectrum because they "don't agree with it." I support my friends even with stuff I don't agree with because that's what friends do. And my friends, excluding Stephanie, won't even attend a Spectrum meeting with me. It's hurtful when they say they don't agree with something I AM. Something that I can't control and something that I cry about at night and wish would go away so I wouldn't have to cry anymore. Its so hard to be yourself when no one wants you to. I can't even tell my mom about the awesome girl I dated last year because I know she would be ashamed of me. And I don't want my parents to be ashamed of me. I really don't. Even though I can't stand them sometimes, the least thing I want to be is shameful and ashamed of myself. But it seems as if those are the only things I have instore for the rest of my life: shame and fear. And it hurts so bad...
I want Reese back. Reese helped me out last night. No one else has made me feel proud to be myself like he did.
And I want Addison back, too. Addison was fun and he would definitely keep me from thinking about how crappy I feel.

I'm going to go to bed early.

Brightest Blessings,
Shay

BAHHNG! SCHNOOGINS!

2004-09-07T18:37:32Z

Merry Meet!

Okay. Clerks 2: Passion of the Clerks starts production soon! BAHHHNNGG!

Fuck stupid highschoolers. They should just fall off the face of the earth. Because they are useless and pathetic and wasted human flesh.

I thought people at this school would be so much better about all the stupid crap normal highschool students pull but obviously I was very very wrong.
Why can't it just end? It's wasting my time and my energy. Fuck it.

This weekend was pretty interesting. Got into a fight and scratched up my eye. Beat the shit out of her too. It was great. I also went out to eat. And I went to a football game at good ol' LH of S. Interesting night, that was. I went with Jackson and Waylon and I really wanted to hang out with them and I would run off for a few minutes to find someone and say hi (like Melissa, Kenny, Megan) and they would end up holding me there forever and so I didn't hang out with Djak and Waylon much at all which just royally blew. And I do mean royally. Like the Queen of England royally. Or Prince William royally. *evil grin* Sexy man.

I have pupated moths on my desk. 3 of them. In little cups. I'm waiting for them to break from their pupae stages and FLY AWAY AS LITTLE TOBACCO PESTS! Yes, I'm releasing them into the wild. That's right. Eat that tabacco! Eat it!
I need to catch a caterpillar and force it to pupate in my cup so that I can watch it hatch into a pretty butterfly!
BAHHNNGNGG!

I'm so sick of this school. It has been three weeks and I'm already sick of it. People can really ruin fun times. I'm really sick of NCSSM.

I'm ready to go home. If things don't get any better in the next few weeks, I'm going home.

Brightest Blessings,
Shay

Disturbed.

2004-08-31T22:40:42Z

Merry Meet.

This week, a friend of mine has been really upset about her brother being sick. He's really sick and it upsets her that she can't be with him. She has every right to be worried about her bro, right? That's what I thought. Well, one of our friends seems to think she doesn't have that right. My friend's brother is in the fucking hospital. Any good sister would be worried about their little brother being in the hospital. But when she's crying and hoping her bro is okay, this other friend is saying "Stop crying, you're not his mother, you shouldn't be upset."

Obviously this girl has not had to experience her loved one go to the hospital for something serious.

But actually, she has, so I wonder why she would say not to be upset. I think that's pretty shitty, honestly. Very shitty. It's wrong to say "Your worries are useless, so shut up about it," which is basically what she said. Stupid fucking idiot.

This girl gets pissy about everything. It was made obvious to me today when I tried to help her out with something and she kind of stomp off like "Shut the fuck up." It's pathetic.

Also, yesterday, Nana was with us at the code of conduct meeting. We were joking around and Nana cracked some joke, and Becca just bluntly said "Shut up, Nana." And she said it in a mean condescending tone of voice at that. I'm really getting sick of this girl and if she keeps pissing me off, she's really gonna hear it from me and then she won't be hearing from me for a while.

This ninth grade shit is really making me sick. I ought to throw up on her.

Also, she has this weird issue with having to make fun of EVERYONE. She has to have something negative to say about absolutely anyone she lays eyes on. There's this girl that was in the dunking booth at the carnival. She's really pale and skinny and has long super skinny white legs. Becca is like "She doesn't need to wear shorts. She's too skinny and bony for that. She's so ugly. Blah-fucking-blah." I'm sorry, but that's like saying "If you don't have a drop dead gorgeous body and the perfect tan (which can be unhealthy, stupid) then you have to wear long pants and sweatshirts for the rest of your life because I am queen bitch and I don't want to see it."

If I were cruel, I would list all of her physical flaws right here. She has sure spelled out mine and those of friends. Practically on a daily basis to me. "You look too much like a guy. You should dress brighter. You're so pale. You need to do situps. You should work out with me." I tell her she's pretty when I honestly don't think so at times, and she tells me "You look too much like a guy." If she says one more negative thing to me, it's going to be hard for me not to punch her in the fucking face. If I thought I could get away with it and stay at this school, she would get knocked the fuck out. I fucking hate judgemental people. So what if she has a self-confidence issue. She's a fucking hypocrite, which is obvious if she talks about other people's acne, because she has it too. Acne is common. Lots of people have acne problems. So what if she needs to do it to feel better. She hurts people's feelings. Especially mine. I get tortured enough about my looks at home and in my home town. I don't need to listen to it from someone like her. I mean, yeah, I'm totally comfortable with who I am and how I look. I'm fine with being me. I don't need to be some model with these great looks to know that I am a good person and that someone somewhere wants to be with someone who looks and acts just like me. But it still hurts to have one of your best friends tell you that you need to work on your image.

Fuck that shit.

Well, I'm behind on homework. I'm out.

Brightest Blessings, :)

*~*Shay*~*

HAHAHA I'm Weird.

2004-08-31T02:58:50Z

Got this out of Waylon's LJ so let's DO DIS SHIT!

01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.
03. I love broccoli.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I have loads of books.
06. I once slept in a toilet.
07. I love playing video games.
08. I adore marijuana.
09. I watch porn movies.
10. I watch One Tree Hill.
11. I like sharks.
12. I love spiders, they are adorable, especially the ones with bright colors on their backs.
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair.
14. I like George W. Bush.
15. People are cool.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have a Toyota and a pool.
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I carry my knife everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart.
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret.
23. I hate rain.
24. I drink health juice.
25. Punk rock rules.
26. I hate Bill Gates.
27. I love Vietnamese food.
28. I would hate to be famous.
29. I am not a morning person.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have short hair.
32. I have potential.
33. I'm pure Afghan.
34. My legs are two different sizes; I refuse to believe my legs are identical...
35. I have a twin.
36. I wear those long ass socks.
37. I can roll my tongue.
38. I like the way that I look.
39. I'm obsessed with Italian food.
40. I know how to french braid.
41. I can be pessimistic or optimistic whenever I want.
42. I have a lot of mood swings.
43. I skateboard/snowboard.
44. I think that skateboarders are HOTT.
45. I'm in a band.
46. I have talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
50. I can swim.
51. My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
52. I practically live on the computer.
53. I love to shop.
54. I would classify myself as either punk or goth.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto. (ghetto punk)
56. I'm a prep, shop at abercrombie/american eagle, and ADMIT IT.
57. I'm obsessed with my xanga.
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I know how to square dance.
60. I have a unibrow.
61. I'm completely embarassed to be seen with my mom.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I know how to play the tuba.
66. I need coffee to live.
67. I have had a girlfriend before.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I currently like someone and they have no idea that I like them.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have kids when I get older.
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've called the cops on a friend before.
74. I bite my nails.
75. I am a member of the Hillary Duff fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything.
77. I love broadway plays, and have been to at least 3.
78. I have no idea who the 38th president was.
79. I plan on seeing Mary Kate and Ashley's new movie.
80. I am completely shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7.
82. I have at least 25 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party.
84. I loved Rush Hour.
85. I've read all of the Harry Potter trilogy (except it’s not a trilogy cause it’s more than 3 books, but that’s besides the point…).
86. If I were a dwarf, I would be Dopey.
87. When I was a kid, I played with G.I. Joe.
88. I dont mind country music.
89. I would die for my friends.
90. I think that Juicy Fruit is the best type of gum.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm paranoid.
93. I would love to be Demi Moore because Ashton Kutcher's a major hottie.
94. I love the Beatles.. they're classic.
95. I know all the words to I'm a Barbie Girl.
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I like watching movies.
99. I want this damned thing to be over!
100. I'm happy.

There we go. Woot. Finito.

dies of exhaustion

2004-08-30T18:42:26Z

Merry Meet!

I hate school... I hate it so so much...

Actually, No, I don't. I love school. I hate the load they give us geeks at our school though. Read below. I'm sick of typing out the name.

I have TWO big tests this Friday. Calculus and Physics. How insane is that? I mean, yeah they are both on the same exact thing..
But that doesn't matter.
Two tests. That's WRONG.
Especially here. AHhhhhhhhhHhH.

Physics is the devil. I swear, by the end of the year if someone doesn't do it for me, I am printing out signs for the physics hall doors that say "GATES OF HELL" because physics is evil. Physics must die. Those of you who are with me, go to www.DEATHofPHYSICS.com and see what you can do to help my cause.

Actually, that's not a real website.
Jay kay!

Physics must die.
I have a physics project due Friday as well. It's a center of mass project.

*******************************************************************************************
****************IF ANY OF YOU KNOW ANY CENTER OF MASS EQUATIONS FOR BALANCING ON A STRAIGHT PLANE, PLEASE BY ALL MEANS, HAND THEM THE FUCK OVER TO ME SO I DON'T FAIL******************
*******************************************************************************************

Anna thinks she can get away with stealing my stuffed rabbit over and over and over again.
WELL!
There's something really PORKY missing from her bedroom. CHA-CHING! Wonder what that is, don't you, HO!?
BWAHAHAHAHHAHA
I told you you would pay.
Poor Bustopher Bunny. :(

Alright, this really sucks. Bad bad bad entry, this is. I'll come back when I get pissed off.
WAIT!

I was in Asian today, right? I'm in that class four days a week plus a lab period once a week, which adds up all together to be approximately 5 hours a week. That's plenty of time to give us big lectures and assign us homework and etc etc. HOWEVER! We were held over 15 minutes today, I was hungry and really had to piss, AND I had to complete an AP Calculus Lab Summary on derivatives, their graphs, why the graphs look the way they do, why the fuck this really matters to me...
I didn't have time. Because they carried class over 15 minutes. I would have had time otherwise.
I LOVE YOU MRS. SHLENSKY BUT YOU TALK TOO MUCH!

Okay. This is the worst entry ever.
I'll write later when bitch pisses me off. Which is always.

Brightest Blessings,
Shay

Talk about Boredom... fucking hell, homes....

2004-08-29T22:28:28Z

Merry Meet.
Or for others...

Yo. How goes it?
Yeah, you don't talk back.

Anyway.

I got back from home like three hours ago. I hate being in Louisburg, but I love being at home. I don't have to deal with the pathetic drama that is bitches from North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics. And trust me. There is a SHITLOAD of drama here. From one person, particularly. Whore.
Drama is pathetic honestly. I mean, why the fuck would you want to act like you feel like shit? There are plenty of opportunities to feel like shit without having to bring one upon yourself. Plenty.
Atleast for normal people, if normal constitutes for a possible explanation for any group of people what so ever, there are plenty of opportunities.
But yeah. This girl can find reasons to whine over absolutely anything. If it exists, she can find a way to whine about it. Even if it's something that should be good.

For instance: Mentorship.

If you're a smart person who wants to get a head start on scientific research (like I really really want to but can't because my schedule blocks it. FUCK!) and you get accepted, you WANT to do it and you're willing to give up this kick-ass schedule you might have. She whines about having to give up an extra hour a day to be able to take advantage of something barely any other kids in the country get to do. If German didn't block me from being able to take this class, FUCK ME I would have taken it. I would have given up sleep to take this class. And she whines to me about having to give up a fuckin' hour. What the hell is that shit!?

And she's whining about a mo' fo'ing cut on her finger. It's like "get the hell over it, it's a fucking cut. You didn't gut yourself and you didn't slit your wrists and you didn't break your neck. It's not worth spending every waking minute talking about it. Fuck. If you want something to whine about, jump off a bridge. Then you can whine all you want to.

Another friend of mine, whom I will call NaNa, has a crush on a cool guy I will call Hindi. Well, I don't really know if he's cool, but she likes him a lot. He's nice to her and so she likes him. Finger-cut chick never had ANYTHING with him. NOTHING. She kissed him a few times and that is like, it. NOTHING.
So the fuck what if Nana likes him, right? Whoopie fuckin do. Bitch isn't married to him, so he's available, as far as I'm concerned. But no. Nana says one word to him, and he puts his arm around her, and bitch-chick is ready to kill someone. "Why is Nana talking to HIM? God. I can't be here because I can't watch her hang all over him." As she's saying this, Nana is trying to walk away from him. There is no hanging. Only walking. It could be hanging if she was walking off a cliff with a rope around her neck, but sorry that's not the case.
No hanging.
So now, bitch is mad. And crying like a little pansy. No reason for it what so ever, she just does. "I like him and she is with him."
While whining over Hindi, she also has the hots for someone she doesn't know, she's crazy about my ex who dumped me for some other chick, she's having sex with two guys from home, and who knows what else.
Yes, I know. She's fucking insane.
Everyone sees it. And she thinks she's being genuine. She's being insane.

Two nights ago, she cuts her finger. She cut it bad, I admit, but it was only a cut. Nothing dramatic. No pint of blood, no stitches, no Cerebrospinal fluid leakage. Nothing.
She cuts her finger and someone isn't hanging out with her and Hindi doesn't like her and she has fat on her stomach (which every woman has because it's part of being female) so the night ends up being the second worse night of her life.

When I think of the worst night of my life, I think of when my dog of 12 years died, or when my two best friends tried to kill themselves, or when my uncle died, or my friend from elemetary died, or when my parents thought about getting a divorce, or when my best friend told me she had a brain tumor or when my other best friend mentioned that my other friend possibly had a lethal malignant brain tumor and that he could die at any moment.

I don't think about being alone in my room for 4 hours.

She should feel humiliated and ashamed of herself for even ATTEMPTING to make that night sound as if it were a horrible one. There are far too many people in the world that actually DO know what desperation and suffering are, and to try to make something as simple and common as a lonely night with a cut finger seem, horrible...
people like that should be put in jail.
People like that don't deserve to have friends.
People like that deserve nothing but to be spit on.

On a lighter note, though, I had the world's best Japanese food while at home. It was amazing. My brothers were happy to see me around for once and that made me feel pretty good, even though it only lasted for like ten minutes. But that's okay. It was nice while it lasted.

My dogs both ran up to me at the door and licked all over my legs.
It's sad when the only time I truly feel welcome at home is when my dogs run up to me wagging their tails.
I think I would die if they died.

Well, I'm off to attempt to do my homework. I doubt it will happen though.

Brightest Blessings,
Shay

I-VIZ: NCSSM Geek Social Time. NO HEAVY PETTING!

2004-08-28T05:29:24Z

Okay. I attend the world's most geekiest school. We are the North Carolina School of Science and Mathmematics. We call ourselves S&M'ers (yes, we laugh too because S&M means Sadism & Masochism. We have some here I bet.) We are the world's weirdest people, I swear it. None of us really have amazing social skills. You're either:
1) Too insanely social and no one likes you, or
2) Not very social at all and no one likes you.
You'd think geeks would like anyone who might possibly like them. Because no one likes geeks.
But No. That's life. HAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway, here at S&M (hahaha S&M), we have this little thing used to encourage socialization, and this little thing is called I-VIZ. I-VIZ!!!! OOOoOoOoOooOO A MANCHILD can come into MY ROOM!
Encouraging my ass.
It's rather scary. People you don't know come into your living space and ask you weird questions and poke at your stuff.

No I didn't just mean genitals. I meant belongings.
Derrick likes dicks. HAHAHAHA. S&M AND Homosexuality! Can't beat that!

I'm a homo. I put the ho in homo, because I'm only half homo. AKA, I'm bisexual.

That makes me a god to horny teenage boys. Or, actually, I would be a god if I were a drop dead gorgeous bi girl.
I'm simply a Potential God.
HAHAHA S&M.

My friend is such a HO! Oh My Belly Rubbin' Mo Fuckin Buddha Baby! She talks about everyone else like they are soooo promiscuous. She's the one with promiscuity issues.
S&M. HAHAHAHAHA.

Yeah, that is getting old. Anyway.

S&M. HAHAHAHA.

I realized today that as much as I have tried not to use names in this thing because my friends read it, they still know who I'm talking about. Because I'm not a social geek and there aren't many people I can talk about.
I mean come on. Only one person has my Physics lab. He knows I'm talking about him. If he reads this anyway.

S&M. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I added an exclamation point. Hot shit, huh?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
WOOT!

I'm thirsty. I want some whips and chains deer park water.

S&M! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

4 exclamation points!

Brightest Blessings,
Shay
S&M! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!

HAHAHA!!!

2004-08-27T23:11:31Z

I just took this before I took my nap. I am not a Satanist, I just put that in there to see what he would say. I'm also not a Catholic or a Baptist. But Look at what it said to me!

lmao I'm taking more of these in a few minutes. I'll post those too.

PISSED BEYOND FUCKING BELIEF!

2004-08-27T22:59:05Z

Merry Meet!

Okay. Today started out great, right? I had a sleep in, had easy quizzes in two of my classes, everything was good.
Then Stephen happened. I love him so insanely much, more than I could possibly put into words, but he has this way of really making me feel like I am about a centimeter tall and like I am noone. On top of that, he basically said that he didn't care, and that the whole argument was my fault. It wasn't. But as always, he can make it sound like it's my fault.
So I appologize. And he tells me he doesn't care and refuses to talk to me.
Grand.
So, he gets back online later, and we both ignore the fact that we fought and everything is good. And then he does what I mad at him for in the first place. What the fuck is that?

The day goes on somemore, and I ace two more quizzes, and everything is all good. I'm trying my hardest not to feel like crap about fighting with Stephen but whenever he is mad at me or vice versa, I feel so horrible. I hate fighting with him more than possibly explainable. We fought once everyday for I know 3 months. We never said anything nice to one another and tried our hardest to hurt one another. And it worked. So after we stopped fighting, we didn't talk to one another for a long time. We finally started talking again, and we vowed not to let that happen again. But it's almost like the gods SEVERELY dislike the relationship we have and are determined to undermine it in anyway possible. Even if it means making one of us upset over something pathetic. Which happens. A lot. Trust me.
But the day goes on and I feel worse and worse. And I still feel bad.
God I love him.

Anywho. After Stephen, I'm already not feeling well, and I feel out of place on top of that. Since I've been back to school, I have totally felt like I don't belong. People are telling me that a close friend of mine is pissed at me over not hanging out with her over the summer and over getting "her tattoo." It's not her tattoo. I've wanted a fucking sun and moon tattoo since I was like in 7th grade. And anyway, its not the same color or design or face as the one she was looking at. Someone drew this off the top of their head specifically for me. So, while I'm feeling crappy about not being able to hang out with my friends over the summer and feeling crappy because I don't fit in because of not hanging with them, I also feel crappy because one of my friends was pissed because "I blew them off and didn't see them this summer" and because I ruined her idea for a tattoo by stealing her idea. Wow. Mag-fuckin-nifico.

Later, after fighting with Stephen and feeling like crap at this school that I could end up ditching any minute now if the bullshit whining everyone is doing doesn't stop, I realize that the disrespectful asshole I call a friend that borrowed my physics paper turns around and was willing to let me turn MINE in late because he felt like playing Mr. Fucking Social and needed to get the graphs that HE WOULDN'T DRAW from MY paper. I still don't have my paper and this is like three days later. What the hell? I'm within I know 500 meters of him right now. It wouldn't cause him to have a heart attack and die to bring me my paper. If he doesn't bring me my paper tonight, he'll have a heartattack after hearing all the BEAUTIFUL things I'll have to say to him.

I had a delicious tuna sandwich for dinner tonight. And great chocolate cake. Fahmida gave me the most AWESOME CD full of Indian Pop music. Sukhbir is the neatest! This makes me so happy.

Now I feel bad about saying such mean things about JC. I love him, but he's just really pissing me off.

Anyway, I'm off to take a nap. It was fun letting off the *steam* of today.

Brightest Blessings,
Shay

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

2004-08-27T00:55:08Z

hahahahahaha Derrick said he likes dick. Fuckin' queen.

I love you Derrick.

I've been sick all day so I've done jack shit and I have none of my homework done.
I'm such a fucking slacker.

I should fail really bad one time so I won't slack again.
But that will never happen.
Oh well.

Derrick said he likes dick. hahahaha. Fuckin' queen.

Brightest Blessings,
Shay

Oh My F*cking God!

2004-08-26T23:01:20Z

I have had this livejournal for like... months and months and I just got to putting something in it. How insane...

Anyway. I am so fucking sick. I went to the clinic this morning at like 7:45 because I was throwing up all night/morning long. How beautiful, right? That's what I thought.

Last night I emailed a Pagan/Wiccan organization called Celebrate the Circle in Durham. I've been wanting to find out a bunch of stuff about the Old Religions and I wanted to ask them some questions. They invited me to sit in on some of their circles and rituals. I think I'm going to take advantage of that. Sounds like a lot of magnifico fun.

I have so much fuckin' homework to do and I haven't even looked at the list. Oh my.
I have a German quiz... and an eco quiz... damn it.

Since I've been at school (I go to the school of geeks called North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics) I've felt really out of place. I didn't when I first got here last year, but now I do. My friends (well, one friend, really) have gotten so lame. I feel totally uncomfortable now. I've turned into this mega-hermit. It's sad, really. But I guess I'll get over it. Maybe she will, too. Bitch.

I'm such a pessimist when I'm throwing up.

Brightest Blessings,
Shay